Months since she died. God I miss her.
Her mother only cries every 20 minutes these days. Her father only drinks in the evenings now. Her brother doesn't talk to anybody. For 14 brief years, Marlee Danielle was alive and singing. She wore two different colored sneakers to school. She had green hair. She befriended the unpopular kid who sat alone in the cafeteria and only passed judgment onto herself. She laughed out loud and read thick books. She fed her brain as much as it could eat. If I had one wish.
I repeat those words in the shower, at the sink, over the boy's homework, while I brush the girl's hair, when I'm changing the baby's bum. I think of all the things I'd like to have or change in my life. But I'd forfeit all the selfish delights of just one wish. I'd wish for time to rewind to November 25th. I'd wish for her parents to have one chance to save her.
I'm so angry. I refuse to honor his calculated insanity by saying his name. I won't allow him the infamy he desires. I pitied him. Now I hate him.