Make the black circles go away.
Mommy make the very bad baby sleep. Make him stop sucking the very essence from my body. He wants to nurse all.night.long. He howls at the very sight of crib bars and refuses to sleep on his mattress for any extended period. Why? I did what the nice lady in the book told me to do. I tried everything the compassionately crazy ladies at La Leche Leauge told me to do. But I’m still having trouble discerning between an “I’m hungry” cry and “I just want to use your body as a pacifier for 12 consecutive hours” cry. It’s no small wonder why babies are so delightfully captivating. If not for their oversized heads, pudgy toes, lumpy thighs, toothless beams, and warm smelly necks, I think humans would eat their young out of pure frustration. Don’t think I haven’t entertained the thought. Somebody remind me that having a 22 lb baby permanently affixed to my hip or breast will result in a well attached human. Anybody?