Friday, March 03, 2006

For me.

Why do I blog? What is this blog but a cold hard monitor displaying words? Words stored on a server miles from my warm living room. Words that represent an organization of looping thoughts and unfinished ideas. Flashes of inspiration and moments of imagination. Memories that mean little to many and very much to very few. I peel back the layers of my consciousness and open my window so all the little notions, ideas, and thoughts can fly. Fly to other cold hard monitors in warm living rooms. Fly to other mothers struggling with sleep depravation and finicky babies. Fly to young women troubled by the turning of a decade that is marked by an entirely new level of understanding and passion. Fly to other women and let them not feel isolated with their uncertainties and doubts. Everyday we write the next chapter in our life story and although the words on our pages may differ, our books are bound by one commonality; womanhood.

I started this blog in hopes of putting a match to my creative candle. My inspirations had long ago been snuffed out as a result of sparse quiet time. For me, translating thoughts into the written word requires a tranquil uninterrupted hour. At the minimum. Unfortunately I don’t commonly find that here. Between the invigorating household chores (what? you don’t feel totally gratified after scouring smelly toilets and pairing staggering heaps of gym socks?) and trailing behind a lively baby, my writing itch is often suspended. But I’m determined to make the time. When all aspects of my whole person are stirred, I feel healthier, happier, and more confident. Although it’s probable that I’m just brooding about the impending
birthday, I really do feel my maternity is a tad over-stimulated lately. I pledge (to myself) to add more me, not necessarily less mama, just more me. Perhaps I can recapture something that has vanished since the birth of the papoose. Nine months up, nine months down? Body and mind.

Maybe I’ll share it all here, maybe I won’t. But it already feels good.


Blogger Amanda said...

Hey! Here's some good news...Connecticut began allowing same-sex marriages on your birthday last year! Progress!

Are you having the same apprehension about this big ol' number that I am? Not to dramatize, but I'm certainly taking stock at this point more than I have on any other birthday so far. (Thus the blog name).

12:52 PM  
Blogger Momma Star said...

"not less mama, but more me"



10:36 AM  

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