Shopping for supplies.

It was just another trip to the Mega Super Store with three energetic children in tow to buy another cart chock-full of the necessary goodies that keep a house a home. You know things like body wash, frozen ice-pops, jet-dry and tampons. It’s amazing how quickly a shopping cart can magically fill itself with things you didn’t even realize you needed. Like two packages of 88¢ silly putty and a preemptive bottle of Drano. I digress. Thanks to the recent arrival of the crimson tide, I knew the shopping trip would have to take a turn for better or for worse towards the super embarrassing feminine hygiene products aisle. Not embarrassing for me as much as for my ten year old Boy because, at 30 years old, I’ve become quite accustomed to chucking super 50 packs of extra absorbent maxi pads and fresh mountain spring scented tampons into my shopping cart. It’s not that I want or need to smell like a fresh flowery meadow on a sunny spring morning, I just grab the prettiest box. After spending a good twenty minutes in the outdoor toy aisle allowing my kids to compete for the “most hula-hoops worn around one’s waist at one time” World Record (much to the toy department employee’s chagrin) and riding around on pre-assembled bicycles while singing Irish drinking songs, I decided it was time to finish the shopping and get Papoose home for his afternoon nap. I supervised the hula-hoop clean up and called for them to follow me a few aisles over because I really just wanted to grab my box of happy plugs and be on my way. But no, Mega Super Store wasn’t going to make this easy for me were they? It seems they’re having their semi-annual buy one-get-five-free sale on tampons. Arg! Super absorbent? Double pack? Pink box? Regular absorbency? Fancy blue box? I just couldn’t make a snap decision with so many pretty colors and low prices flashing before my eyes. As I was getting close to narrowing my choices, my Boy walks over to the giant wall of plugs and begins inspecting the bright yellow smiling price tags. He seemed surprised at first, then alarmed, then confused. I hurriedly grabbed a double package of Kotex regular absorbency with the colorful red flowers, nonchalantly tossed it into the cart and began wheeling in the opposite direction. He looks down at the box, looks up at me and says “Mama, I didn’t realize band-aids were so expensive.”

I wuv him.