The Great Decider decides

to whip out his giant penis and throw some smackdown on Don Rumsfeld’s critics. "I listen to all voices, but mine is the final decision.” Snort. What the small frustrated idiot really means is “I don’t give a flying fuck what you say, I’ll do whatever the fuck I want. And if I don’t get my way then I’ll shove a scud missile up your Yankee ass.”

Seriously (expletive deleted), go back to Texas and brand some cows. I’m going to get so drunk on the night of your impeachment, no really I am. I’m letting my armpit hair grow just for the occasion. Then I’m going to exchange my Sheer Obsession for patchouli, invite all my gay friends over, grill meatless burgers, and sing "The Rainbow Connection" at the top of my lungs as I attempt drunken headstands on my front lawn. Bra-less.

Have you been half asleep?
And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name....
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm s'posed to be...
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Laa, da daa dee da daa daa,
La laa la la laa dee daa doo...