Tylenol plus, orange juice, vapo-rub...

And I’m still wading through the ankle-high surge of snot that my three darling children have produced over the past two days. Juicy. Keep reading, I double dog dare you. It’s either an attack of the allergens or just a nasty mutant goo beast that has caught our sinuses unawares. I spent two very drawn out and sleepless nights wrestling with the Papoose to no avail. He informed me, in no uncertain terms, that I was to cuddle him all night while listening to his woeful cries. By the time 48-hours-without-sleep rolled around, I was seeing double and bumping into things. I was a groggy and vulnerable. I cried when the Girl got muddy. I cried when the Boy wouldn’t stop talking. No sooner did the Husband receive my cryptic text of “get home” and he came zooming as fast as his happening VW would move him. I was a crumpled pile of mommy mush on the couch, whimpering Papoose on my lap. I won’t detail the rest of the evening, but suffice it to say that with the help of modern medicine, I slept a blissful few hours the following night.

So that was two days ago. Since then the Girl has developed a dreadful case of nose sludge and the Boy is sneezing rocket-fueled mucus missiles across the living room. I grow weary of holding tissues to other peoples’ noses while saying “blow”. When will these small people learn to effectively honk their own beaks anyway?

Me: Did you blow your nose?

Girl: Yes.

Me: Why do you have green snot stuck to your upper lip?

Girl: Uh…..

Me: Did you use a tissue?

Boy: Yes.

Me: Why do you have boogers on your sleeve?

Boy: Uh…….

Me: (holding tissue for the child) Blow darn it! Blow until your ears explode! I don’t care if it feels like your eyeballs are falling out….BLOW!

I love spring.