The little engine that almost could...

And there you have it. One year later and still 14 lbs over. Of course this hasn't been a fruitless battle lest we forget the BABY I made. My view of the weight loss this time last year was totally impractical and would have been virtually impossible to achieve given the circumstances surrounding breastfeeding. Evidently you remain a little bit chubby so that the only real difference between you and your delicious baby is that you know how to operate a coffee maker. By six months postpartum you both suffer double chins and bums that resemble bowls of pasty, lumpy oatmeal. Your hair falls out in mocking clumps of the formerly lustrous locks that once thickly tumbled onto your shoulders during pregnancy. Your little one loses his hair too, except his hair loss comes in the form of a cute bald spot that becomes a funny little detail that causes him to be even yummier than before. If that was even possible. Granted, you burn an “extra” 500 calories just churning out that liquid gold, but unless you have a built-in renewable energy source, any verve you’re left with at the day’s end is reserved for bathing. And possibly talking. So those 500 calories were freebees as far as I’m concerned. As the weaning gets underway so does the weight loss. One.year.later. I chuckle at my prior expectations of what my postpartum physique would look like. Not only did I not expect my breasts to balloon to approximately quadruple their normal size, but the whole second cesarean-section thing? Yeah, scar tissue on top of scar tissue can get weird. Don’t ask.

Anyhoo. Lose 14 lbs and stay asleep for longer than three consecutive hours. Since January 1st has long gone-by, I’ll call these my Spring Resolutions. Now if I can just get the Papoose to cooperate, considering he’ll be my biggest collaborator throughout all this.