And then my head exploded.

Because if you knew me, you’d know that these crisis-type situations usually catch me off guard and this is why my husband needs to not be gone. I? Handle the bloody lips, the banged heads, the pinched fingers. All those immediate and not-so-catastrophic child emergencies that require the Mama. But true emergencies? Like my eleven year old Boy accidentally dropping an entire guinea pig cage WITH HER IN IT down a flight of stairs? Freak.Me.Out.

Oh my god is it DEAD??

Oh my god child please stop sobbing so!

Oh my stars and planets and spatial anomalies WOULD YOU JUST LOOK AT ALL THE POO ON MY STAIRS??



Hi. I’m Melissa Nibbles. I just plummeted down seven stairs and here I live to tell about it. I’m fine actually, thanks for asking. As it turns out, guinea pigs bounce. Didn’t know that did you? May I perhaps nibble on a strand of your delicious-looking hair and squeak softly in your ear?

Why yes, yes I am incredibly cute, soft and cuddly. And yes, I also happen to be the replacement pet for the red-headed agama lizard that went to the Great Desert In The Sky, or so to speak, a few days ago. Let’s just say we all hope Mama doesn’t mistakenly reach into the freezer for some scrumptious chicken breasts and inadvertently grab the frozen reptile awaiting his spring burial. Because that would totally scar her children.