So I noticed

the carnage of poisoned houseflies on the back porch and decided it was time to sweep them up. I also remembered my husband’s full ashtray sitting on the back porch too, resembling a slightly mutated chia-pet in dire need of dumping. I needed a bag to deposit the above mentioned nasties in, and thought I’d kill two birds with one stone by emptying the bathroom garbage and using that bag. When I walked into the bathroom I noticed toothpaste smudges on the mirror and damp towels slouching over the side of the tub. I wiped the bathroom counters to a sparkly shine and tossed the towels into the dirty laundry hamper, only to spot the overly stuffed hamper begging to be emptied. I lugged the hamper to the basement and flung the contents on the floor beside the washer. And because I like to be an efficient water consumer, I prefer to wash a few big loads instead of many smaller ones. Quel chance! The laundry I added to the pile completed a full load of whites! I love it when that happens. After filling the washer, I brought the hamper back upstairs and retrieved the bathroom garbage bag. I slipped on my fleece jacket and reached into the kitchen closet to grab the broom, which was leaning against the swiffer wet jet. Strangely enough, as my brain registered the sight of the wet jet, my toe registered the sensation of something gummy beneath it. Raspberry jam. My eyes darted around, frantically searching for other sticky offenders. In front of the sink, a glob of ketchup. Next to the dishwasher, milk. Behind the garbage, toast crumbs. Well, why not slide some swiffery goodness over the tile real quick-like and give it time to dry while I’m sweeping up the back porch? Only makes sense. With a clean wet floor behind me and a bag of bathroom garbage in my hand, I stepped outside.

Those of you who know me, know that this is how I operate. I’m incapable of just completing one cleaning mission; I am compelled to multitask until I’ve forgotten my original objective. It’s a sickness, really.

I realize this may qualify as the lamest blog entry in history, but my laundry is washing, my bathroom is clean, my floors are washed, and oh yeah, the flies are swept.