Monday, December 08, 2008

There's a boy.

And he’s mine.

He’s mine in that I never knew I always needed him until I met him. I met him and we played swashbuckling pirates with swords and sealed our fates. He chased me around his house, laughing and climbing on me and drenching me with his little boyness. I knew if for no other reason than simply to be his mother, I was going to marry his father. And yes, I often let my twisted emotions hold the flashlight as I stumble through life’s dimly lit tunnels. But that’s how I operate and it’s reason #592 why marrying a left-brained person was in my stars.

You, my son, are also left-brained….logically, rationally and objectively left-brained. You’re one of my loudest voices of reason besides that of your father and I sometimes wonder if I tell you often enough how much I appreciate your humble, unobtrusive pieces of advice. Example: “Mama, that’s the Spanish version of the manual.” Or “Mama, try turning it the other way.”

Thanks kid.

You helped keep me sane and truly unafraid during the year your Dad was gone. It was beyond difficult; it was a true test of our bonds and trust in each other to be without him for so long and to know hope he would be home soon. You? Stepped up and did the things your Dad asked of you while he was away. And you were never negligent or complained because that’s who you are. People repeatedly tell me what a considerate, kind boy you are and I although I’d like nothing more than to selfishly take credit for my marvelous parenting, it’s just who you are. It’s so simple yet so remarkable how good and faithful you are to those you love. I regularly question what right things I did to deserve your love.

I love you in such a different way than I love your sister and brother, and yet I love you in the exact same way. That’s exactly what I tell people when asked how it feels to parent a “step” child; it’s different but the same. They don’t know you’re not my stepson. They don’t know you’re mine and always have been. It’s just something we have and don’t remember not having.

You’re 12 today. You’re one year closer to leaving home and becoming a world-renowned zoologist. You're one photo album closer to no longer being my young child. You're one more angsty, hormonally charged tantrum closer to signing up for driver’s ed classes. You’re my first attempt at parenting a tween, a pre-teen and soon….a teenager. I already know you and I will compromise and make it out alive because we’re cool like that. (It’s your sister I’m terrified of.)

You were so thrilled because you got 12 wishes this time...

I’m going to borrow one of your wishes and hope that you never lose you what makes you so unique.

Shine on Keegan – I love you!


Blogger mama said...

Please chase all the girls away until Sydney is old enough to marry. I know 50 is a long time to wait....but it will be WORTH IT!!

12:52 PM  
Blogger Renée said...

I'm so down with that.

3:34 PM  

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