Saturday, April 26, 2008

The moment the collective we begins

making progress with alternative fuels, and suddenly there’s a food shortage.

Every major media outlet is making a big stink about how you can’t walk out of Costco without four 20 lb bags of rice.

Where’s the American Federation of Rice when we need them?! Fat America is suddenly in danger of losing a little weight because of rice “shortage.”

The horror.

Dudes. There’s no food shortage.

You can’t possible believe that big global oil corporations have nothing to do with this. They pay Major News Networks and America’s two largest food retailers (Sam’s & Costco) and then the Major News Networks and Sam’s & Costco scare us into believing that using a portion of the corn crop for alternative fuel will cause worldwide shortages.

Pretty tricky ain’t they?

Now please commence running in circles and panicking.

Why the hell do you need with four bags of rice anyway? Ever heard of potatoes?


Blogger Andy said...

how'd you get so smart? Well said!

3:17 PM  

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